Insomnia

I have a hangover. I wish it was from an expensive (heck, even a cheap) bottle of wine. But nope…Tylenol PM. Pretty much since we’ve moved here I’ve had insomnia. The why is obvious, it’s what I do with my time that requires examination. This week I contemplated which color combinations of towels would look good in my mom’s bathroom (she’s decorating her new house), a name for baby girl Twitty (as if I’m being consulted), debated whether I should add an eye crème to my beauty routine, how to solve world hunger (not really, I was just trying not to seem trivial), 1,000 bottles of beer on the wall, 1,000 bottles of beer….

After a week of that nonsense, I turned to drugs. Do you blame me?

It got me thinking about other memorable hangovers I’ve suffered. There was January 1, 2000. That’s what you get for partying like it’s 1999. Morning sickness is just like a 3 month hangover, without the embarrassment of the night before. And of course, prom. Ugh, I can still taste the rum. OK, this topic is making me feel worse…let’s move on.

So I picked up another friend at the park yesterday. I’m a park slut! Wanna hear my pickup line…”You have such cute kids!” Original, I know. Maybe I should try Alexander’s. “Hi…my daddy works.” You may think that’s random but he’s actual reporting our economic security thereby establishing us as a stable family worth befriending. Genius!

My new friend’s name is Karen! So we have Christie, Karen…I’m seeing a pattern here…next week I’ll meet a Stefani, then a Carol… Does this mean a Jamie will be moving into the Murphy neighborhood? Heaven forbid! She has 3 ½ year old Nathaniel, and petite and pretty 7 month old Sarina. She’s a co-organizer for a Spring/Woodlands based moms' group. All the kids are around 3 yrs. Perfect! They do playgroups, field trips, girls' night, bunko, scrapping, and family BBQ’s. She emailed the link to me last night. I logged on the site expecting a simple yahoo groups format. Nope. These people are hard core. They have yearly dues, enforced restrictions and guidelines, required participation…it actually says “no lurkers,” and an application with acceptance procedure. Wow. I hope there isn’t a psyche eval and hazing. I think I’ll wait until my hangover clears before I tackle potential membership applications. What if they ask if I do drugs?

~J